andrewwoodman

Day 1
 
-Wake up after 2 hours sleep with sore throat. Bad Omen. Arrive at my PPC's house having scoured newsagents for cold and flu pills to car share to Blackpool (Very Green)
-Miss the Lane for the M6 and heading rapidly for Walsall. (Not very green)
-Service Station Breakfast. Woman serving looks like she has all the job satisfaction of a battery hen. Breakfast is overpriced and overcooked and generally revolting. Par for the course I suppose.
- Arrive in Blackpool. Same as I remember. Check into a claustrophobics nightmare of a hotel room.
- Arrive at Winter Gardens looking as tatty and clapped out as ever. Would have made a great casino!
- Head up to the Imperial. Boiling hot as usual. Dread to think about the energy wastage. To go Carbon Neutral, this place would have to plant a forest the size of Yorkshire.
 
Day 2
 
- Throat still feeling like sandpaper. No hot water for a shower. What is it about that Blackpool hotels have against hot water.
- Wonder who on earth OKed the Blackpool school uniform. Short skirts and knee high socks. Wish the uniform was like that when I was at school.
- A rather surreal moment at the bar. Witness one of our Union Jack loving MP's order a Cinzano and then having a rather bizarre argument with the barman about whether the drink existed or was made up. He settled for Martini.
- Head up to the Imperial for the East Midlands reception. A very trim looking David Cameron addressed us and dealt with the mobile phone heckler very well.
- Off to the bar. Speak to Two Tories at completely different ends of the spectrum. Shaun Bailey the candidate for Hammersmith who spoke with real passion about his youth charity work and sense of purpose. Then rather amusingly, we had a chat with a young version Rowley Birkin QC. A barrister from London who told us about how he was mugged twice this year but both times he was very very drunk. The reception from the police was apparently awful because he couldn't remember his phone number. A drunken toff telling the police he 'understood he'd been mugged' and not being taken seriously. Whatever next.
 
Day 3
- Discover that I'd covered the switch for the hot water with my bag so yesterdays cold shower was unnecessary. Didn't help my cold at all.
- Run around like a blue arse fly getting facts about the Post Office closures ready for my PPC to be interviewed for East Midlands Today. Really wished I bought my laptop. Come back to the winter gardens to be told by a jobsworth policeman that I can't go through the main entrance, but have to go to the media one. Refuses to listen to a common sense question of what difference does it make.
- Sit and observe outside the Imperial in the afternoon. Very entertaining. Micheal Howard was getting visibly annoyed by being kept waiting to do an interview by the BBC. Actually get to see Cameron guru Steve Hilton in the flesh. Draw the conclusion that to get in the Shadow Cabinet you need to wear a navy suit. Looks like all the wanabees in the pin strips are wasting their time.
- Association Chinese meal. Observe the BBC journos on the next table enjoying eating with my licence fee. Leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.
- Back to the Imperial, amazed at the age of the glass collectors. One looks nine years old. 
 
Day 4   
 
- Relieved it's the last day. Knackered and ill still
- Come across Peter Hitchins who like me was sent to the media entrance by the same jobsworth Policeman. He questions the need for all the police and why they're acting as a security man directing people to different entrances. He's not happy.
- Astonished by the queue for Cameron's speech. Decide it's time to get out of the hellhole that is Blackpool. Never to return.

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